The Married Man’s Guide to Valentine’s Day

It’s almost that time of year again. Just when you feel like you’ve recovered from the holidays, you still need to get past that one day in the middle of February. Yes, Valentine’s Day is right around the corner.

We know, we know: it’s a sham of a holiday concocted to get men to part with their hard earned cash. We know this day can feel like a two by four to the head. We know you are busy. We know you love your wife and don’t need to prove it.

But we also know it’s never a good idea to ignore Valentine’s Day. Never. The repercussions aren’t pretty. Women love romance. They are practically weaned on it.

So this year we’ve put together some quick tips and online resources to make it as easy as possible for you. Remember, it’s not about how much you spend. It’s not about creating so much pressure that you don’t end up doing anything. It’s about showing her you put forth some effort. That’s all she wants A thoughtful gesture, something out of the ordinary that makes her feel special. That, after all, is the true essence of romance.

What to Eat and Drink

Everyone knows that chocolate, strawberries and oysters are considered aphrodisiacs. But you might want to impress your Valentine with a few other tasty treats that chemistry experts say are the way to her heart.

Cheeses such as brie contain 10 times more phenylethylamine than chocolate. This chemical has been found to release the same rush of hormones as sex.

Champagne like cheese has been found to excite both sexes and particularly stimulate female pheromones.

Asparagus is packed with the “sex vitamin” necessary for increased hormone production.

Honey was proscribed for sexual vigor by Hippocrates in the 5th century B.C. perhaps because it provides a very usable form of sugar that converts easily into energy.

Chile peppers stimulate a physiological response that mimics sexual excitement — the blood starts rushing, the heart pumps, the face flushes and the pores sweat.

Licorice and cucumber scents have been closely linked with female arousal.
For a detailed and delicious Valentine’s Day guide straight from the experts at the Food Network, click here.

What to Watch

Love it or hate it, Hollywood defines much of what we consider romantic and sexy. Impossibly perfect dialogue, music, lighting, bodies — the Hollywood fantasy of love can be extremely seductive. So for one night, skip the action aisle at your video store and let the experts at The American Film Institute guide you.

They’ve put together a list of the 100 most passionate films of all time. It might just be the perfect way to set the mood for a low-key but high-voltage night of romance. And you might even learn a thing or two from the big screen’s legendary lotharios.

CASABLANCA (1942)
GONE WITH THE WIND (1939)
WEST SIDE STORY (1961)
ROMAN HOLIDAY (1953)
AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER (1957)
THE WAY WE WERE (1973)
DOCTOR ZHIVAGO (1965)
IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946)
LOVE STORY (1970)
CITY LIGHTS (1931
ANNIE HALL (1977)
MY FAIR LADY (1964)
OUT OF AFRICA (1985)
THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1951)
WUTHERING HEIGHTS (1939)
SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN (1952)
MOONSTRUCK (1987)
VERTIGO (1958)
GHOST (1990)
FROM HERE TO ETERNITY (1953)

For the full list of sure-fire hits that will sweep her off her feet, visit the American Film Institute.

What to Give

The key thing to consider is that a Valentine’s Day gift is a token of your love. It represents what you feel for her. So first and foremost, it has to look like you put some thought into it. And even more important, it cannot be something remotely practical or that slightly interests you. Neither is very romantic and will not be very well received.

Flowers are always a hit especially when they don’t look like the generic bouquet you grabbed at the gas station on the way home. You can take flowers to the next level with just a little more effort and preparation. This year, get her favorite kind of flower. Not sure what that is? Get her a bouquet in her favorite color. Not sure what that is this week? Get her a dozen red roses but make it more meaningful by getting her an additional rose for every year you have known her or for every child you have. The thought put into flowers is truly what matters. For more ideas and convenient ordering, try an online resource like www.flowers.com

If you are feeling more adventurous in your gift giving, the Web can provide great direction. Practically every store at every price range has an online gift guide full of suggestions. Some sites even have gift guides that are Valentine’s Day specific: Gap, Neiman Marcus, Target, Tiffany’s, Amazon. Surf around and when in doubt ask your wife’s closest friend for her opinion. This is not a time to let pride get in the way of showing your wife you care.

Or if nothing online feels quite right, you can feel right that every woman likes to be pampered. A foot massage by you is great but treating her to the magic touch of a professional is a nice cherry on top. Offer to treat her to a day of beauty — a manicure, a massage or a trip to the hairdresser. This gift tells her that you know how hard she works and that she deserves some time for herself. You can take it one step further by making a whole date out of it. You can tell her you’d love to take her out to a nice meal when you pick her up from her appointment.

A Hallmark greeting is nice but jotting her a note is an even better to make this Valentine’s Day memorable. There is no magic formula. You can list 5 things you love about her — the way she smiles with her eyes, how she looks when she is falling asleep, how she cooks, how dedicated she is to her family. Or describe the last time she looked beautiful in detail and how it made you feel (lucky/thankful/excited are all good options.) You could thank her for the last loving thing she did for you and promise to do that one thing she keeps asking you to do for her. Anything heartfelt will score major points. Mail it to her or leave it for her in an unexpected place. The element of surprise will also feel hugely romantic to her.

Tthis Valentine’s Day and every day, remember how important romance is to a happy marriage. Your wife adores any and every simple gesture of intimacy from you. What she wants most is something special that lets her know how deeply you care for her heart, forever and always.