Comments on: Superwoman Syndrome

By: Ella

Ella — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 19:49:44 +0000

YES YES YES!!! I am with you women. Why do we do all this? I know i did and still do for my husband expecting that one day i will also receive the same back. BUt i know reality is different than fantasy. I believe that it is instilled early on in men that they don’t need to take care of things or worry day to day things , becuase that is what the woman of the house is for. That is what they grow up watching on live telacast(their parents or the people they live with). No matter where u go in this world, the roles of men and women are same. It is so strange becuase there are so many cultures, so many languages…so we all think that we are all different. But the fact is, everyone goes through the same thing at the same age and stage no matter what the culture. Roles of women ae defined, not in our dictionaries, but in our hearts and minds as caretakers of the family, no matter what. Women always put themselves last, and it is something that will not change. Maybe 10% of the population of the woman who are mothers and wives will change but overall not much will change because, as mom we are naturally drawn to the well being of our children and are willing to do whatever it takes. We give them ourselves, and after that there is no time left toourselves, becuase we are no more in charge of ourselves. There are woman who
are on TV , who talk about how important it is to take time for yourself, but i am sure they have some help with thehouse hold duties and kids. Women who stay home don’t have that privalege. So each woman who feels a need to bring change in her life has to first decide what it is she wants to change and she need to be ready to make the change and Not just wait for it.

thanks for reading my thoughts

By: Brett

Brett — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 03:38:58 +0000

You are so right Sarah!
Why do I have to earn the bacon, cook it and clean the kitchen? Where does the husband come in? He’s not fixing anything in the house or garage. He washes his clothes and maybe some of the rest of the family’s clothes. He reluctantly bathes the children on Sunday nights only because I’m at work. He thinks if he brings home his paultry paycheck I’m supposed to be pleased. He cooks meals–that’s his only saving grace. So I’m supposed to do everything else: shopping, cleaning, appointments for children, hospitality, gardening, auto care, home repair, pay the bills and errands. What’s he doing? Work 40 hours, cook dinner most nights, take kids to park on weekends. I’m feeling overworked and underpaid.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 20:50:49 +0000

Oh if only it were so easy.
That caregiving impulse is HARD to fight, as is guilt.

Go out for some retail therapy – you bring back stuff for the people you love and MAYBE something for yourself. If you do go out just for you, guilt and shame in having not brought home something for the class, or for abandoning your budget which doesn’t take your personal needs or desires into it (but it does your kids and husband).

A shower and a nap are “time for myself”- those are just necessary upkeeps to prevent from crashing so thoroughly that I become hostile or incapable of giving care. It’s just keeping the reserve tank full.

Time for myself is a clean house with no duties, noise or responsibilities waiting for the rest of the day. It’s being able to visit friends without having to ask for permission from my husband and just let loose for a few hours – and not coming home to a guilt trip and a list of reasons why exactly x\y\z was done improperly or just couldn’t be got to, thus leaving me with more work upon my return.

I can’t just take time for me, he needs to give me time off. And be happy about it in practice, not just in theory.

Men have it easy because we bite our tongues and give them what we’d like in return. Still waiting on the return..how bout you women?