Comments on: Is your time style hurting your marriage?

By: pennie

pennie — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 15:45:03 +0000

Everybody make time for whats important to them, lets talk real here, if your marriage is as important as your job, or you watching tv. you will invest some quailty time in it. you feed into the things that interest you more, if your spouse interest you, pour into him or her, and stop blaming the kids, i have 2 kids 9 and 11 and 2 grandchildren for that matter, and i still find time for my husband. women the last thing you need to do is turn your husband down when he wants to have sex. and vise versa. if the sex is good you wouln’t be complaining. you will do what is necessary to get it. so stop feeling sorry for yourself and get the fire burning.if you don’t know what to do ask god, he’s the one that invented time and sex.

By: Andy

Andy — Fri, 25 May 2007 03:16:04 +0000

I think these insights are valuable. One thing couples have to harmonize are their values – and the use of time certainly fits into that category. I say thanks for the overview of different styles (knowing at the same time that we need to avoid stereotyping and pigeon-holing.) One thing I think would be helpful might be some more insights as to how to harmonize these different styles – for example, how does someone who is mostly a planner deal with someone who is mainly a dreamer? I see some interesting material here.

By: Sean

Sean — Thu, 24 May 2007 21:22:35 +0000

I’m not sure I see much value in categorizing oneself and/or one’s spouse into any of these “styles”, even if we use it as a springboard for a meaningful discussion on how we manage time individually or as a couple. It doesn’t overcome the sometimes-conscious and always-subconscious tendency to consider one’s style the “correct” style and one’s spouse’s style the “incorrect” style. I believe it is more useful to acknowledge how one’s spouse manages time and then accommodate their style, rather than to try to reach some kind of change in them or compromise which includes changes on the part of both. I believe this is true in any area in which spouses can have different styles: social, financial, communication, sexual or any other important area.

By: Gregory

Gregory — Thu, 24 May 2007 00:30:15 +0000

excellent article. do need to have ways to have the different styles work.