Comments on: Can You Affair Proof A Marriage?

By: beth dalton

beth dalton — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 21:38:58 +0000

most of what ive read is that of the male having an affair….
this makes me sad behond belief.. i had an affair on my partner of 25yrs
husband of 10..i messed all our lives up and i would never had seen it coming
i was a fool …lots of other issues around this but if i could look back and see the devasastion i have caused i would never have went out that night..when a man
spoke to me in a bar and without even questioning my self worth i slept with him 2 days later then again on an overnight trip away from home….i lied and lied i am so sorry now
it is very true but i just didnt think of the full picture i loved my life before now its gone……….

By: chris

chris — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 17:37:29 +0000

I can only imagine what the hurt feels like to have your partner actually confess, but one good thing is that you finally have the proof and you can try to move on. I think it is better than suspecting and suspecting strongly without any proof. That is what is happening to me and I cannot move beyond this time, I thought my marriage was affair proof little did I know. Now the trust is gone, the hurt lingers and until there is an admission it is all in my mind. To all those women who have proof and are willing to forgive, I salute you, I hope you have a better marriage than the shell of a one that I have got.

By: Judithe

Judithe — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 21:41:57 +0000

IS IT WRONG AS A MARRIED WOMEN TO HAVE RELATIONSHIP WITH A MARRIED MAN?WE LIKE EACH OTHER COMPANY AND WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN WHEN WE ARE TOGETHER.

By: Judithe

Judithe — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 21:38:25 +0000

It is now 3 years that i met this man.He was my finantial adviser and he was working with me as my client manager and iwas his client.At begining our relation ship was mostly related to our business but now it is almost 4 years that we call each other,email and meet each other .He is very nice man and i do like him and i do enjoy his company.I am married since 27 years and he is maried too.I am not sure if his wife dose know about our relationship.My husband dose know that ii do email him and sometimes i do meet him.My husband dose not know about the content of email or where we meet and what do we say when we see each other.Iam so worry that one day he is going to leave me and we are not going to see each other.Do you think is it something wrong with this type of relation ship?

By: Nopain Nogain

Nopain Nogain — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 12:40:49 +0000

Hello once again, each time I read these postings I find that I must comment. (but in a positive manner).
Sc, God is not against Divorce. (like we think) God wants people to be loving to one another. It is his wish to give each person what they heart desire. Some marriages are put together with out God ackowledgement.( meaning God did not join some couples together in marriage). When people want to get married they should ask Gods permission first. God sends you a mate if you ask for it. God will grant you a Divorce if you ask for it. God does not wish to see his people hurt. Just as stated in the bible Adulters will be dealt with. The only marriage counselor that we have is God.

Now, again it is possible to live after an affair, only if each party is willing to put in the effort to make it work.
a marriage will never survive if one is thinking of the person in which the affair was with. Again there is no excuse for people cheating. Before that desire hits you, that is your time to find strength to say no. Seek, God guidance, or who ever is you guide. It is important to remember that we are only human. At some point in your life you will make a mistake, but will you learn from the mistake, or do you get better at keeping you dark side a secret?

nine time out of ten, If a person cheats and get away with it, they will do it again, and again. (until they are finally caught). Just like a bank robber he never stop at robbing just one bank. (Why? it get good to him and he can’t stop, HE HAS NO CONTROL).
When we mature enough in our lives we gain control. That means control over our thoughts, what we say, what we do, etc. It is merely up to the person to want to change. Never in a million years will I ever defend a liar, but will defend a person who has made changes in their lives for the good of their personality.

Women, or Men if you have a gut feeling that your mate is cheating on you, chances are it is happening. What are you going to do to stop it? Yelling will not help, counseling maybe! fighting definately will not work. I suggest that you begin now saying that prayer to God to prepare you for what ever the reason you fill the way you do. Ask God to help you in this area of your life, Ask for trust, Guidance, and for God’s love and mercy! Ask God to send you to talk to the other spouse when he has prepared your heart. Ask God to remove anything from your life that it not meant to be there. He will do what you ask. Be careful what you want to know or be revealed to you because God will give you what you ask for.

God bless you all

By: Sc

Sc — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 04:48:41 +0000

God is against divorce. Marriage should be something beautiful shared by two people. but what happens when only one person wants to make it work? My husband has an ex whom I tell him “she’s your shadow” she a very difficult person. Where did love go? or did we just let it go?

By: s

Sun, 12 Aug 2007 18:36:36 +0000

So, why do we all want a marriage? So we can destroy each other? What the hell has happened to everyone? It’s not about you. It’s about the good of the whole relationship. It’s about sacrificing together for what you are becoming by being together.

I just found out my significant other cheated. It’s not only the cheating, but the deceit, lying and covering up. We are not even married, yet. Now, he’s sorry. Now. he wants counceling. Now, he is sure, “I’m the one”. I’m not so sure anymore. I guess I could leave and find someone who seems better……..but just look at all the cheating in general. Would I really be any better off? When I was twenty I would have just told him to get lost. I am a little older and more experienced and I know that life will throw you some real fast curve balls. Though, a tough life doesn’t excuse it, I do still love him. He has been very remorseful. I’ve been amazed. Had he been this open to communication and attentive all along….things might have been pretty good. Maybe I can forgive him, but the memory will AlWAYS be there.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Attraction is like the wind…….love…..is a decision.

Had I paid heed to the ten commandments…..perhaps I would not be where I am at all.

By: Teresa

Teresa — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 01:03:07 +0000

I used to be so judgmental about infidelity. I used to say that if someone was considering stepping out on their marriage, then they should do the other person the courtesy of leaving. I couldn’t understand how someone could be so deceitful and selfish to have an affair.

Well, last year, I had an online emotional affair. I knew I was crossing lines, but I had stopped caring. I felt like I had explained to my husband what I needed, and he wasn’t giving it to me. I needed an understanding, supportive person to talk to. I found someone online who did that.

My husband found out, we went to counseling, and while I’m sorry that infidelity ever touched our marriage, I think it finally forced me to say clearly exactly what I needed, and it made my husband sit up and listen. I don’t blame my husband one bit, but I have learned that my affair was a symptom of something BOTH of us were missing.

By: mary ann

mary ann — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 02:30:07 +0000

But allways take responsability for your choices.

By: mary ann

mary ann — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 02:28:17 +0000

We as humanity,have been in prision for what teachings and roles we should play…our relationships shold last, we should be commited,we should be faithfull.And then we choose,sometimes we are victims ,sometimes we are cheaters,I think we want to be able to confined love,But love is free ,you stay because you want,but you should be able to leave,and to let go too.In this I find power.Let’s be honest,let’s face our fears.