Comments on: Avoid Communication Meltdown http://newsletter.marriage.eharmony.com/2007/07/mmm-jumping-to-conclusions/ Free Marriage Articles, Advice and Tips For Better Communication, Less Fighting and More Intimacy Tue, 05 Feb 2008 15:56:46 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: A http://newsletter.marriage.eharmony.com/2007/07/mmm-jumping-to-conclusions/comment-page-1/#comment-1356 A Thu, 23 Aug 2007 01:41:41 +0000 http://newsletter.marriage.eharmony.com/2007/07/mmm-jumping-to-conclusions/#comment-1356 Guys who read this, take it from a woman this is so true and if my husband had done this tonight we'd be in bed together, not him watching baseball ALONE and me on the computer. We had a disagreement, to sum it up I asked Is ___ okay with you? he said no, I said why, he gave a reason that didn't make sense to me. I tried to give him information backing my opinion, and he started raising his voice, telling me to quit badgering him (he does this a lot) and taunting me, telling me that I can't walk away, I have to keep bothering him, why am I so selfish? This was so hurtful. If he only could have said "I understand that you feel ____ because of ____, but I feel ______ because of _______." He says I always need to be right, and I tried to explain that I just wanted to tell him why I felt the way he did, and to get the reasons behind why he feels the way he does. I think he perceives this as me trying to be right, when I would just like him to listen to my reasoning, and also speak to me in a normal tone of voice, rather than rude and disrespectful. SOOOO.... Lay it on, guys, I want to hear how this makes you feel. Am I full of crap? Am I a selfish B---- like he says because I'm making it all about me? Does any of this help you understand your own woman? I'm here on the "guys side" to try and get a new perspective. Guys who read this, take it from a woman this is so true and if my husband had done this tonight we’d be in bed together, not him watching baseball ALONE and me on the computer. We had a disagreement, to sum it up I asked Is ___ okay with you? he said no, I said why, he gave a reason that didn’t make sense to me. I tried to give him information backing my opinion, and he started raising his voice, telling me to quit badgering him (he does this a lot) and taunting me, telling me that I can’t walk away, I have to keep bothering him, why am I so selfish? This was so hurtful. If he only could have said “I understand that you feel ____ because of ____, but I feel ______ because of _______.” He says I always need to be right, and I tried to explain that I just wanted to tell him why I felt the way he did, and to get the reasons behind why he feels the way he does. I think he perceives this as me trying to be right, when I would just like him to listen to my reasoning, and also speak to me in a normal tone of voice, rather than rude and disrespectful.
SOOOO…. Lay it on, guys, I want to hear how this makes you feel. Am I full of crap? Am I a selfish B—- like he says because I’m making it all about me? Does any of this help you understand your own woman? I’m here on the “guys side” to try and get a new perspective.

]]> By: Raye http://newsletter.marriage.eharmony.com/2007/07/mmm-jumping-to-conclusions/comment-page-1/#comment-1080 Raye Sat, 04 Aug 2007 01:18:17 +0000 http://newsletter.marriage.eharmony.com/2007/07/mmm-jumping-to-conclusions/#comment-1080 How blessed your wife must be to have a husband that cares to learn and try. God bless you both! How blessed your wife must be to have a husband that cares to learn and try.

God bless you both!

]]> By: Joseph http://newsletter.marriage.eharmony.com/2007/07/mmm-jumping-to-conclusions/comment-page-1/#comment-1000 Joseph Tue, 31 Jul 2007 13:31:10 +0000 http://newsletter.marriage.eharmony.com/2007/07/mmm-jumping-to-conclusions/#comment-1000 Hi there all,... My wife to be and I can totally relate to what I just finish reading above. Tracy and I, have'd, had, many hours of talks, and, yes, It does become so Godly natural... It's totally Sinus's, (modle together), as in being one... God Bless you all... Joseph Hi there all,…

My wife to be and I can totally relate to what I just finish reading above.
Tracy and I, have’d, had, many hours of talks, and, yes, It does become so Godly natural…
It’s totally Sinus’s, (modle together), as in being one…

God Bless you all…

Joseph

]]> By: Hal http://newsletter.marriage.eharmony.com/2007/07/mmm-jumping-to-conclusions/comment-page-1/#comment-982 Hal Tue, 31 Jul 2007 08:10:21 +0000 http://newsletter.marriage.eharmony.com/2007/07/mmm-jumping-to-conclusions/#comment-982 My wife and I learned this technique several years ago and it was known as "mirroring' and later "echoing". It was initially effective and my wife and I used it on many occations to clear up difficulties. No matter what the technique is called, it will be effective for anyone who honestly undertakes this technique. Honesy and "genuine intrest" as the two doctors point out above is imparative though for it to work. If your wife begins using the method to shoot back your very own words twisted in order to use them against you or introduces absurdity into the message to damage your character, just step back, don't get angry and seek outside help from a skilled counselor. My wife and I learned this technique several years ago and it was known as “mirroring’ and later “echoing”. It was initially effective and my wife and I used it on many occations to clear up difficulties. No matter what the technique is called, it will be effective for anyone who honestly undertakes this technique. Honesy and “genuine intrest” as the two doctors point out above is imparative though for it to work. If your wife begins using the method to shoot back your very own words twisted in order to use them against you or introduces absurdity into the message to damage your character, just step back, don’t get angry and seek outside help from a skilled counselor.

]]>