Prioritizing Your Child by Focusing on Yourself
When’s the last time you saw a parenting book that asked parents to defocus on their kids?
- Rabbi and family therapist Edwin H. Friedman
The greatest thing we can do for our kids is to learn to focus on ourselves. That opening line is meant to come across as contrary, even heretical. “Now it’s all about the kids” is what most of us recite as soon as we bring offspring into the world. And we keep receiving countless bits of counsel urging us to continue taking all focus off ourselves and placing it squarely on our kids. After all, what they need is our constant attention, affection, and sacrifice so they’ll think the right way, feel the right way, and behave the right way. Right? Wrong.
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Tags: Family, For Men, For Women
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My mom taught me this at an early age. she was a young widow with five kids under the age of eight. I am the oldest.
My mom’s advice that I took as soon as I had the first of my three boys. Simple: “A father shows how much he loves his children by loving their mother.” I just made it my own by saying “A mother shows how much she loves her children by loving their father.”
I am a woman first, a wife and THEN a mother. My husband and I have been married 25 years. God created me first, and then I became a wife and THEN God blessed us with children. Why should I mess with God’s priorities?